Anyway, I am not joining council for next year, my term 3 result reaffirmed by decision and I stand by it firmly. I hope that it will not affect wenbo and alfred, but apparently for now, they arent joining it too.
I am really sorry to the seniors, especial Ruian who had guided me so closely for 12slc, and allowed my skills to improve. Although at some times I really hate and detest his comments, I must say, that he is a senior whom I really do respect totally. I wanted to advise the 13slc designer-to-be, however, I have recently decided not to do so.
Council- it is really a very fun and exciting organisation where we could learn a hell lot from it. I still remember the time, when I was year 1, I was really impressed by the SUST of that time. I looked upon them as role model. In year 2, I was still a quiet councillor, not getting the recognition from teachers or students. I realised why, I am just not the type of people that could easlly 'click' with seniors or teachers like what most of my peers do. I have this small uncovered potential, and in the end, it was a senior who managed to uncover it and grabbed me into the "elite councillorS" of my batch.
I was excited, I loved council, and i still do now. I was planned to be in SOO ot, and SLC ot, but alas, this was not to be after some intervention by some teachers. It was really dramatic at that point in time, it was an eventful month and all, and it was all in year 2.
Year 3 approaches, miracolously, i made it into the exco of proed council, at the same time, stepped up and became the chairman of Hwa Chong Scout group. I was proud of my achievement, I felt wonderful, I am in power. This is the year, where I really realised the phrase " with great power comes great responsiblities" i thought I could handle it, but my results couldnt, I have now just reached a new low mood of my entire 15 years on earth.
The reason why I am not joining council, is defintely not because I detest the current HSC. I feel that they are rather good, just that the genuine reason I am not joining, its because I am really tired. I am tired of having to juggle myy life between all the commitments, I am seriously tired of staying at home and not being able to spend time with my family because of council work, I am tired. Tired of socialising with people. I may have a large circle of friends now, but I am tired of socialising already, I am not sure why, thats the reason that I believe that I am an introvert. I am not being myself, I am pushing myself into a situation where I have to be outspoken in order t shine, I don't like it.
Strangely, council changed me, being outspoken had became a part of me, however, I have no interest in being more outspoken than now, I am tired of comparing myself with some one else.
I feel guilty of letting the seniors down. I seriously thought I will join the HSC at the start of year 3, but I am so sorry, I could not make it. Im sorry for those who had been backing me up, I have disappointed all of you. Sorry.
It's time for me to have time for my current friends, family, and, myself.